Cabin Fever Madness

I am not sure anymore if I want to get out to be with my baby or just to get out of this hospital. Other than that, progress is going well somewhat. Being in here though I am still a little emotional but there have been times where I am still my happy go lucky self.

How far along? 36 Weeks

Total weight gain? Unsure- last weigh in was 16 pounds total at wk 33

Maternity clothes? Still hospital gowns although I might wear an outfit this week

Sleep?  Not much some days. Other days I can. More so now though.

Best moment this week? I am off the fetal monitor for all day and I skyped in another shower.

Miss Anything? This is the time of year where I begin doing more cooking and baking.

Movement? Oh yeah!!

Food cravings? My own cooking

Anything make you queasy or sick? No, not really.
Gender? A sweet little maverick! ( Oh boy oh boy!)

Symptoms? Some constipation that has cleared up since I can walk around the room. Slight bit of acne.

Belly button in or out? Believe it or not, still in!

Wedding rings on or off? That wedding band is still on!

Happy or Moody? I am more happy now than moody.

Looking forward to? I am looking forward to having my baby and getting home.

This past weeks have been a lot I will admit that. A true test of my patience and faith. Now, the biggest question looms over me as I hear it in text messages, notes on facebook, phone calls and comments: "Are you still pregnant?" and "Has the baby come yet?" As much as I would like to say yes the fact is is that I am still pregnant and getting larger by the day! When I heard women discuss the symptoms of late pregnancy I made a point to myself to say, "That won't be me." Well, most of it has not been me with the exception of heartburn and now the wonderful feeling of the baby in your ribs. He likes to nuzzle his bum right in my ribs on my left side. This just started last night when I felt the most free because I am off the fetal monitors for most of the day with the exception of 20-30 minute intervals. But, in my explanation to myself about this. . ."Girl! You are 36 weeks! You are nine months pregnant! Everything is going to begin to be a little uncomfortable." But I still played push and pull with baby for control of my ribs until he finally gave up and went to sleep. As soon as he did, I did so that made that game worth it I guess.

This past Sunday, I had a horrible statement. All throughout this pregnancy I worked on trying my best to be healthy. I ran then walked, ate healthy, did prenatal yoga, kept positive thoughts which is quite difficult when dealing with stubborn patients, and breathed. . .a lot. All so I could have the birth I wanted. . .a water birth with a midwife present, my loving husband and a doula all cheering me on to do one of the hardest things my body will ever do. . .birth a baby. I had set up some of the best midwives in the Chicago area. I preregistered into this hospital that have them and boast they have the best rooms for a water birth. I figured that it was going to take me a while to go through early labor so driving out 45 minutes to an hour is more than enough time to get some good labor going. As they tell you all the time and we never listen to people. . .no one plans for a C-section. It is something that happens.

Midwife: "You are not a low risk patient. We can not take you back as a patient."

Me: "But, I am approaching 36 weeks."

Midwife: "Due to the evidence on the fetal monitor when you have a contraction, your baby's heart rate dips. You must be monitored all the time especially when you go into active labor."

I was being skyped in for a baby shower which got cut off. Vince called again right after she left. By the time he called I was in tears. I was in tears because I always wanted to have my baby delivered by a midwife in a pool of water and now I felt insufficient in something that my body should be doing naturally. Something that my baby should be aware of by instinct. Why did it seem like this? Vince was at the baby shower opening gifts but was not very happy about all we received which were great items. An infant car seat which actually matched the pack and play we got at the other baby shower, plenty of diapers, clothes, onesies and burp cloths were some of the items that we were "showered" with. I did not see any of this on skype because I did not get back on. I was too devastated at the ordeal. Normally, I would just shrug it off because there is always that huge window of every time I plan something it never quite works the way I want it to. Not this time. He didn't stay at the shower that long as he should have as he was worried about his wife and possibly his baby. As I tried to explain to him on the phone why I was crying he did not understand through my tears. I don't really cry very much but when I do I am quiet. I am not trying to explain anything when crying. He came as soon as all the presents were opened and hugged me. I was no longer crying when he got there but he could still feel that I was slightly upset. How a few days can change my mood. . .

Wednesday came with great joy as I thought Wednesdays here I always get bad news or something happens to me. I was told the baby was doing well and that he was handling the contractions nicely so I was allowed to be on the fetal monitor two to three times a day for 20 minute intervals. I also got the good nurse to wheel me around the outside of the hospital. The sun never felt so good upon my cabin fever ridden face! She also took me to the gift shop where I bought a "first outfit" for the baby when he gets here since all the shower gifts are at home and not washed. 

If you read this blog with some dignity, I thank you for that. It has been a difficult time for us as I am posting this because I want pregnant women to know before hand that this can happen. Pre term labor occurs more than you think and it is without reason. I have some ideas to where it came from but I will stay silent until I can further investigate. In no way shape or form am I putting this up here for a "woe is me" post but a "learn from my mistakes" post as I always have. The reason there is not a posting here every day is the Wi-Fi in the hospital is slow so this post took me about two hours to create and even worse, it takes even longer to get pictures up here. Again, thank you for respecting us to read this and think and not to ridicule or wish ill upon us.

Some pictures from the set up of the baby shower this past weekend