Eclectic Lotus

Fear. Fear seems to always be the determining factor of my demise. I can not express how much anxiety I had during my days in Chiropractic school and worse Naturopathic school. I try to live my life with only the fear of God but for some reason it still grips my inner self and tells her that she can not do this. Fear holds her close and tells her that she can not move forward because she is not good enough. But, I know for an honest fact that it is fake. I am highly gifted and creative but why? Why do we listen to those nagging voices in our heads. They stiffle me and make me do odd things to myself and they most certainly get in my way. The time has come though that I must stop listening to them because if I don't move forward it is going to get much worse and the reality of it all is what I should fear as opposed to something I have not attempted as of this moment. Kind of like the children in the lake. There is always one child that will not jump in because he or she is t...

I am not sure how but I have been keeping up with my bills. The problem is is that I am not keeping up with food! As I have been cooking which has been helping my lust for eating lots of different vegetables has not been helping as I was juicing/smoothie making to eat all the veggies up before hand. With the clean up of the living room and getting out (still) of the winter stuff I am on track with simplifying my own life. I called one of three loan places and got my IBR worksheet in the mail which will help greatly. I can pay but not as much as I am because I am getting low on gas and can't pay to fill my tank up. We knew this was going to be difficult I am just hoping we can still laugh and smile during this transition. Plus, with all the walking I will be doing I think I might drop some more weight as I heard from my doula that working out can increase milk production. Let's see! Next experiment is seeing if I can make almond milk at home using my nutribullet. I have a bi...