Spiritual Love. . .within pregnancy

So, this is a bit of a mushy post. When I used to hear women shout about pregnancy I would kind of roll my eyes. From someone who has no kids and looking from the outside in you kind of get this thought of, "OK, you are adding to our already huge world population and you think you are closer to God and better than any other woman who has not had a child?" So, in some cases I was slightly offended when some accused me of being "selfish" because I didn't have any children. I never saw it as that. I always saw it as I know how to not bring a child into this world when I was not ready for kids and then screw their life up. Again, I didn't initially want children but instead of screaming into the universe what I didn't want I left it up to God to tell me what HE wants for me.

So, daily I am adding oil or cream to my stomach and recently I have begun to feel interesting things. One side would be kind of hard and the other side would be soft. So, I moved the hardness because I am assuming that the baby is lying transverse. It was so weird these feelings. I guess that is what these women are talking about! If I was an emotional lady I think I might have cried. I still just think it is so odd that my stomach moves and it is not gas or gastric irritation. . . that there is a little person in there just trying to make it and explore his or her territory. It is so fascinating that there is someone in my tummy and they are growing, getting fat and beginning the first stages of developing somewhat of a personality. The baby can hear me so when I am on the phone discussing my pregnancy the baby kicks. When I put my hand on my tummy, the baby hits my hand. The baby gets shy when "daddy" puts his hand on my tummy and stops kicking or does a light kick.

I already had a dream about this baby at two years old with very curly jet black hair and a skin tone in between my husband and I and baby being skinny little thing- just because Vince and I were pretty thin as kids. Oh, so adorable! I guess that was my self conscious trying to get me to fall even further in love with this little person in my tummy. When the baby kicks, I thank God simply because this was His plan just as my marriage was His plan. I never thought I would love being married to such a great guy but I do so I am sure who ever this little person is I will love more than I imagined possible and will have such fun with this child and watch this little one grow into an adult and have a family of its own. God is in control and I am putting all my faith in Him!